Concerning Names

For as long as I can remember, people have displayed a shocking inability to correctly pronounce my name. My name is a relatively common one... so long as you're in Ireland. Unfortunately I live in Minnesota, populated largely by Swedes, descended from the Vikings. Considering that the Vikings famously raped and pillaged much of Ireland, I suppose it could be a lot worse than people saying my name wrong, but I digress.

A lot of times, when introducing myself to a large number of people, my name is met by a bunch of looks that would normally be reserved for a naked man who stood up and started speaking in Klingon. When I was a lot younger, I would compensate by spelling my name aggressively at people, going so far as to preemptively correct commonly made mistakes. This was, however, doomed to result in horrible failure once I entered public school, where my rapid-fire listing of 15 letters resulted in many years of bullying to come. So I adopted a nickname. Unfortunately, this Nickname was very similar sounding to one of the most common names in the US. So... that went well. Eventually, I ended up being known as a variety of other titles, such as:

Hey, Jackass!
Hey, Moron!
You! Over there!
STOP THAT!

And, my favorite from my grade-school days:

That Zombie Kid.

After public school, I would simply introduce myself, smile blandly at the confused looks, and explain that I'll answer to just about anything. Mostly, this would get me addressed as "Hey, you!" or "Blond kid!". However, in early High-School, something came up that I had never heard before.

"Hey you! With the... FACE!"

Everyone faces a moment of destiny at some point in their life. Sometimes it's when they see their first great movie, lose their virginity, or play their first game of D&D. For me, it was when I was called "Hey you, with the face." It describes me perfectly as I do, in fact, have a face.

So, if you were wondering why I named my Blog "Hey You With the Face," you now know. If you were not wondering that, well... sorry about the past few paragraphs of exposition.

So here I am, presenting myself to you here, on the Internet. You know know a bit of who I am - I am a writer on the Internet, one of countless thousands others much like me in this digital wonderland. But I hope to be more than just one of the faceless, nameless masses.

I want to be the guy with the Face.